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TLW Literature 04: Paulo Coelho
This is going to be awkward:
| Author: | Paulo Coelho |
| Title: | The Pilgrimage |
| Time: | 1986 |
| Destination: |
Santiago de Compostela |
| Length: | a few weeks |
| Type: | walking |
| Rating: | 0/10 |
A lump of dung
How do you rate something that sucks one hundred percent? Oh yeah, you give it a zero.
First things first: I remember it was my friend Ali who recommended PC’s classic “The Alchimist” to me in 1998, and it turned out to be a nice little book. Sure, it might have been a bit overly simple and esoteric, but I didn’t mind, as long as it was fun to read.
Four years later, when I was looking for work in Paris, a Brazilian guy first suggested the possibility that PC might be looked upon as a total douche in his own country. Regardless of the five hundred million billion readers he got in Europe and the States.
“So Brazilians don’t like him that much?” I asked my new friend.
“Hell no,” he answered, “he annoys the fuck out of us.”
Oh.
So I guess I should have been prepared for a shit-storm when I opened my copy of “The Pilgrimage” last week. But I wasn’t.
The book: During the mid-eighties, PC wants a ceremonial sword from some kind of spiritual cult, but they won’t give it to him. Instead, the sword is being transferred to Spain by PC’s own wife, and he is given a guide called “Petrus” to lead him along the Way of Saint James in Northern Spain in order to retrieve it. The two dudes wander around, do spiritual exercises, make conversation with celestial beings, climb up waterfalls and fight gory battles against dogs that have apparently been possessed by demons. In the end, P.C. finds his sword, and everything turns out well.
If there was only a way to convert narcissism into electric currents, this dude would be a global source of renewable energy.
There are no other people in this book besides PC, who even mirrored himself in the blabbering character of his guide – so it’s a 2-for-1 deal! Actually, the universe in its entirety seems to be nothing but a pallid background for the giant spiritual lightbulb he is.
Sometimes I thought he might have actually been joking.
If you want an interesting story about the Way of Saint James, you’re looking for it in the wrong place here. You’re not going to find anything about walking either. There are hardly any observations about landscapes or culture. And since other people are practically non-existent throughout the whole book, there is really not much left to fill its 262 endless pages, except for a massive blow of hot air straight from the vents of the bullshit factory.
Here’s a gem: “Watching me, the dog forced his will upon me.”
I bet he did.
Now does this book make it to the top of my personal shit-list?
Well, there is still the possibility that PC was just taking the piss out of everyone, which would be kind of funny.
I was going to give this book a rating of 2 because the style of writing itself wasn’t that bad, but on second thought that made it even worse. If PC can write so well, then why does he come up with such a turd? So anyway I took those two points and gave them to one of Brazilian’s finest: Max Cavalera. Just in case he ever needed a 12/10 rating from me.
Ok thanks bye, I have to go look for my sword now.
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June 20th, 2010 at 14:47
Yep, I’m from Brazil and Paulo Coelho’s fame around here is so bad, tv ads use his image as a joke.
June 20th, 2010 at 15:12
hehe, thanks for your comment. I just updated the post for more clarity. Don’t know if you read the original version. ;)
June 21st, 2010 at 02:20
i have completely no idea about the author nor the book but this review makes laugh. now i’m triggered!
June 21st, 2010 at 09:10
Very well put Christoph, I like your style. Haha
I’ll steer well clear of that one for sure..
June 21st, 2010 at 11:14
If you haven’t already, I would suggest reading “A Walk in the Woods” by Bill Bryson. It’s an easy read… if nothing else it will entertain. It is the story of a would-be-walker, who finds the process too daunting. But the attempt is significant.
To walk… to commit. The book questions the ramifications.
Also, Bryson is great at providing histories without making them tedious or random. He writes the story of an Old Path.
June 30th, 2010 at 02:25
[...] Updates: crehage: looks like i am going to sign. 23 hours ago, comment crehage: Земство – what do I know about Земство? 5:45 PM Jun 28, 2010, comment crehage: people are screaming at their tv sets again. i am busy doing my russian homework. life is good. 3:23 PM Jun 27, 2010, comment crehage: Go Korea. Go! 3:32 PM Jun 26, 2010, comment crehage: Lol!! Slovakia vs. Italy = noob ownage!! 3:38 PM Jun 24, 2010, comment « TLW Literature 04: Paulo Coelho [...]
June 30th, 2010 at 02:41
ZMH: Hope you’re not going to go read this book now?? :)
Anto-San: Please do that!
Perry: Thank you so much, I will buy Bryson’s book as soon as I can!
July 2nd, 2010 at 19:18
Also from Brazil here. I just can’t understand how such a idiot (PC) made this huge fame. Wait… Maybe people aren’t as smart as I think. oh well. What can you expect of a guy who used to walk and even composed music with someone who calls himself ‘crazy beauty’. Talking about Max cavalera, have you seen his brother Igor playing? Check this piece out from the chaos ad album, the song is slave new world. He hits HARD! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qro0gLqM2Uk
Best regards!
July 7th, 2010 at 10:17
Delmar: YES, I think both Cavaleras are really awesome!! Ratamahatta the greatest of all time!!
July 10th, 2010 at 01:30
[...] reason why I am not giving this one a zero rating like Paulo Coelho is because I think that WH isn’t as pretentious as him. In fact, he might not be pretentious [...]
December 10th, 2010 at 19:46
i like him,his books actually touched me a lot lot,especially The Alchemist….HAHAHAHA:) another book you might hate,but i love so much is called.
i think reading is really about communication,if you feel the way the author feel and you agree with him,then you like the book,if don’t feel the same or you totally don’t agree with him, then that’s another story.
March 5th, 2011 at 11:21
[...] travel book about the Camino that I will be reviewing here. Realizing that Paulo Colho, despite his „shortcomings“, has probably set the tone for many future Camino writers, I had lowered my expectations before I [...]
March 10th, 2011 at 00:48
[...] leaking through its pages. Of course it can’t be anywhere near as bad as the writing of Paulo Coelho or Shirley Maclaine (they’re in the All-star League of esoterics) but sometimes it just gets [...]
May 28th, 2011 at 22:28
[...] // Yet another book about the Camino? After one that kind of sucked and another one that was totally shitty, and yet a third one that was pretty awesome, I wondered what this one would be [...]